Masochism : pleasure in pain

I have turned masochistic..

Now i find pleasure in gulping tears,

Its habit that has grown over years,

I find the salty tears, too sweet,

Even in the chilly weather, your thoughts served as heat!!

I am haapy that i stay way from you,

As being near, I couldn't hide my pain from you!

I dont want to display myself feeble and week,

I lost intrest in all that i liked, Am i now a mere geek!!

All that i could express is through words,

Have got lot to say, thoughts swirling as wind whirls!!

I dunno what to do? I dunno!! I forgot wat was my chore!!

Hey, lastly wanna ask you..

Who taught you to make me love you more and more..

Valentine's day...

"The purpose of a relation is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have the one, with whom you can share your completeness.. happy valentine's day"

My reply:

When in good & healthy relation;

hunting for purpose may cause a friction!

In life its not being with someone, who makes us complete

But sharing with someone in life, with whom none can compete..

Hope you find someone true and just,

As each relation is build on faith and trust..

Never hunt intentionally, for someone to fall for,

Look for someone, who for you can't bear a single moment, sour!

Do never believe in falling in love,

Rather rise in love, and soar as high as dove!

As, love is not just by chance, not by choice,

It should be from within, from inner voice!

Be happy wherever you stay..

And on this note wishing you" Happy Valentine's day" :D

Pained but unexplained..

I am not that weak or feeble,

that any can inflict pain,

even best of best friend's rudeness is like a nibble,

But when it comes to you, i go insane!!

Your words are healing one as therauptical treatment,

At times they make me feel high, high and high,

Your silence so adverse, as if i wer undergoin punishment,

But all i can do is lay in bed and sigh..

I do hide and weep,

It seldom lets me sleep,

My face has now turned a map of you,

you happy, iot glows, you sad it turns morose..

Its mystery, since when i love you,

is it since ages!!

without your thought, life is just a mock,

as a book without pages.

People say, time changes and everything changes with time,

Is it true??

So, if it is, why can't it change my love for you!!

Undefined definition.. ( a poem for friend..)

Was pondering on the relation we share,
Its strange! and finding identical is seldom and rare,
You are a girl, you are a friend, & tho not a girlfriend
Still we chat 4 hours, and share each petty event..

Its gr8 to have you, you as you are
your simplicity makes it easier to share thoughts, howsoever weird there are
I get fascinated by clouds in the sky
Though the weather is gloomy, but its u who make me feel high high n high..

I find pleasure and tempted to chat with you
I hunt for excuses(i must be sorry) silly excuses, just to hear from you,
Its not that I try to impress or try to Ogle,
But its for sure whenever in doubt you are my “GOOGLE”

I am scared if this relation ends near or soon,
I am thankful to God, having you as a friend is a true boon,
Will you ever be the same, share joys, share pains..
As the weather is cloudy, will u be around, even if it rains!!

But truth is you will disappear, as i was getting insane..
For you, my feelings, the respect .. I truly can’t explain,
Pouring my thoughts through words is a herculean task..
I assure you I am ever there for you.. never do hesitate to ask.

LubDub

You are my dream, you are my desire,
loving you & hearing from you makes me feel higher & higher..

Wen your mood is low, you do cry,
eventually, i lose my glow, making u laugh is just wat i try!

For some reason,u did forgo all ur smiles,
cant u smile 4 d one who just 2 speak 2 u once ran miles..

At tyms, I try PJs 2 make u laugh aloud,
at tyms, u cry & sob when none is around,
my heart does beat faster n leaps out,
bt at other, it just misses its lubdub sound..

One f d univrsal facts is, d grass is green, d sky is blue,
n othr bein , my heart beats just 4 u..

Tho d former has certain exceptions,
bt d othr is beyond ny limitations

falling in love with u was not by chance, nt by choice,
it was frm my heart, frm my inner voice..

Again i ponder, wer was i at fault,
and still, thinking f u is my charactr by default..

Poem for my sis..

A variety of relations surround me…

Some are gifted by birth,
Some constructed here on earth,
some are blood relations,
Some thicker than one’s imagination..

Here i proceed introducing,
Speaking, to one among my surrounding,
I dunno which category above, suits her!
As she is special & different than any other..!!


In my life, words are scarce to express your deserving place
Hm.. You have a twinkle in eye and smile on your face!

I’ll always be there for you, with no if & but,
We share a bond, that just can’t be cut!

Though we sometimes have trifling fights with each other,
I’ll stick up and stand for you, and be your cover!

It doesn’t take you long to get senti & fight,
I guess, our strange bond, rewards you this right!

I am aware of your teenage crush,
Someone afar! Whose name would make you blush! (;))

You did find a guy of your dreams,
But couldn’t collect the courage to reveal it seems!

I know you did sacrifice your dream and your heart did bleed,
But i assure you that i am there to support whenever you need..

You say at present your life is not perfect, hard time you have known,
Your strength and my advices(:P) carried you as the time has shown..

Sometimes you, and many a times I (:P) did guide each other along the right way,
I cant forget, how you did support me and provide resting shoulder that day..

I am a closed book and dislike to boast,
But truly speaking, manku shares with you the most..

In our childhood we spent together, moments both good & bad,
I still cherish memories of the fun we had..

By the way, for you i don’t know why i am presenting this composition,
Oh! Leave.. As everything in life is not tagged with a reason..

Oh! I still remember your granny style lengthy lectures on call !!
Hm, you are a emotion bag, which burst even on matters, too small..

And how can i forget to mention your full on emotional melodrama,
And yup, at times, you being as dumb as llama(:P)..

You are my sister, so obviously, you have to be the best(:P)
Our bond makes you different from the rest..

If people want to go after you, they have to go through me,
So make sure, you tell that to everyone you see..

You are my sister and i’ll be there for you, till the end,
For you are not just my sis, you are my best friend!

I wish everything in your life moves on and goes right..
And your future may be glittery, shiny & bright..

Hope, you all the readers got an idea, who is she?
Yup, she is my sister, “Himanshi”..

Don't miss the oppurtunity to express that u care..

Tell The People You Love and let them know whom u Care For …..

One day English teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. ‘Really?’ she heard whispered. ‘I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!’ and, ‘I didn’t know others liked me so much,’ were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter.. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students died of unknown ailment and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never attended Funeral of a student before. He looked so sensible, so mature. The place was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk. The teacher was the last one to bless. As she stood there, one of the people who acted as pallbearer came up to her. ‘Were you Devank’s english teacher?’ he asked. She nodded: ‘yes…’. Then he said: ‘Devank talked about you a lot…’

After the funeral, most of Devank’s’s former classmates were there. Devank’s parents were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. ‘We want to show you something,’ his Uncle said, taking a wallet out of his pocket ‘We found this on Devank, when he died. We thought you might recognize it.’ Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Devank’s classmates had said about him. ‘Thank you so much for doing that,’ Devank’s mother just managed to say with tears rolling endlessly.. . ‘As you can see,he treasured it.’

All of Devank’s former classmates started to gather around. Debuheed who was his best friend in school days, smiled rather sheepishly and said, ‘I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home’. Dishan’s(his other gud frnd who rather came close in +2) wife said, ‘Dishan, asked me to put his in our wedding album’. ‘I have mine too’, Debanshi(his friend cum sis.) said. ‘It’s in my diary’. Then Delaila, another classmate and good friend, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. ‘I carry this with me at all times’, Delaila said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: ‘I think we all saved our lists’

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Devank and for all his friends who would never see him again. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Mannku

Remember, you reap what you sow!
What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own!

Unpredictable girls!!

A few questions which sound wierd, rather dey are wierd!!

>WHY DO GALS TAKE SO LONG IN DRESSING UP!
(dey pretend dat dey r dressin up vry proprly, tho dey may end up
lukin messy..2 much make up! Yuck! D cosmetic dat boys find most wierd
is dark red lipstick.. N again d cosmetic dat guys find most
fascinatin is lipstick but lush light transparent shades..)

>HOWEVER SMALL THE PURSE OR HANDBAG OF A GAL BE, IT WUD CONTAIN INFY MATERIALS, WHICH ONE CANT EVEN IMAGINE.. FROM A SAFETY PIN 2 AN UMBRELLA.. Hoops! :o
(they just go on dumpin der bags wid watsoever comes in hand, be it
toothpicks, safetypins, visitin cards..Or nythn nd wen askd dey wud
just pretnd smart by replyin v r prepard 4 each un4seen situation)

>WHY DO GALS, IN MOST OF THE CASE, EXPECT THAT IT IS THE DUTY OF THE BOY (ND NOT THE GAL) TO INITIATE AND STEP FORWARD TO PROPOSE AT PRIMA FACIE..
(grow up gals! Bt its so just because dey may skip d chance f
displayin attitude.. Bhaav khane ka chance haath se nikal jayega.. :p)

>similar 2 above point: IF A GIRL LOVES SOMEONE, SHE EXPECTS THAT THE GUY SHUD HIMSELF DECIPHER HER FEELINGS FOR HIM.. AND FURTHER SHE WOULD TERM IT “OBVIOUS” THAT IT WAS OBVIOUS..
(grow up! Grow up! Why cant dey find it “OBVIOUS” OTHER WAY ROUND
TOO.. THEY WUD PRETEND INNOCENT” U NEVER SAID SO…. Etc” )

>WHAT IS IT DAT GALS DO TALK, WENEVR DEY FORM A BEVY..(even if strangrs, gals may start wid appreciatin accesories, dresses n wud wind up gettin personal n no surprise dey wud even end up gossipin bout der boyfrns..!!)

>I NEVER UNDRSTND Y DO GALS GIGGLE UNNECESSARILY.. AT TIMES, ITS TOO FRUSTRATING.. Huh!
(dey just display as if dey had shared a very funny joke, tho one
wudnt hv heard nythin more lame dan dat.. )

>EACH GIRL SEEMS TO B VRY MUCH CONSCIOUS BOUT DO DEY FEED DEMSELVES WID? Esp. BOUT THE FAT/CALORIES IN DER DIET..
(but its mere show off! :p each tym dey hangout wid frnz, dey end up
munchin junkies.. )

lots more.. Bt above ones r general n universal.. All guys wud
unanimously agree 2 me.. :D

Attitude matters!!

I m lost in my new attitude
its 2 stop thinkin bout u in solitude..

Revealing my feelings,i ws early 2 say
bt still i say i wasnt wrong nd 4 dis silly crap,i m not gonna cry or ever pay..

If u feel without u, i m in pain,
oh! I m sorry u r misleaded in wrong lane..

2 d world u r just a sumbdy, but 2 sumbdy u r d world
somewer sumbdy is happy, just 2 learn dat u r happy

wat a pity on me! Till yesterday i was d somebody,
waited desperately 4 u 2 b such sumbody

maybe someday u may regret 2 let me go
ha! Who d hell cares, its my turn 2 present ego

i know u did nt betray me
i knw it wasn’t u d reason, i was killed
but my dis new attitude
makes in me a new life instilled!!

I could not be the person

The more i think of her,
the more i love her,
the more i try to hate her,
wat to do, she tends to be nearer….

There is no possibility of her liking me,
I feel without her , there is no possibility of me being me,
what a curse! I love her for she being she,
and she dislikes me for me being me…

If love could be bought and sold,
I would have pledged my life for her,
Now I am spending my life rather,
to discover how to forget her……

I feel, if i am the reason she may cry,
I would have prefered to die,
If she is content to find my sadness,
I would rather discard all my happiness….

Its not at all hyperbole to say,
that for her , i can even pluck the star,
even though i am aware, for me,
She wouldn’t even pluck a flower….

Now I am learning, how to
live without her,
Its just me who knows, how am I
struggling without her….

I wan’t to forget her,
but this insane heart still hopes to get her,
She says “you can’t be the person”
I donno wer was i at fault to be the one…

They say that true love is ever amusing one,
Can i meet the fate even more cursing one!!

each day of my life reminds of her…
each thought of my life ends with her….

where was I at fault ,
Now thinking of her is my character by default…

blogbug

I had this blog since very long.. but did not post anything yet.. i had various blogs at other platforms as well.. bigadda, tumblr etc.. I did post at tumblr.. but most of my friends were busy blogging at blogspot and i found myself alienated there at tumblr so decided to post here at this blog as well..

Hence, this inactive blog is set to action from now..

Mannku