Saudade

Its been long, real long,

but memories still fresh,
as if it was yesterday,

the sounds still echo,
as if you were never away.

the fragrance of you,
still sweetening my memories

you're miles far away,
not just in distance,
but in each possible way.

We will be together,
I lie to myself each day.

I can do nothing about it,
Dying a little more,
Believe in destiny,
No, I don't anymore.

The Other Side.. (arbit imagery)

As far as I know you,

Or, I must say,

As far as, You wanted me to know you;

I could make out something,

Something which I would pen down replacing myself as you,

Which would mean, A dare to pen down a dedication to me by you.

(following lines are to be read as if they are from her....... )

I very well know your feelings for me,

And I really cherish them.

I would love to preserve them.

I wish I could express myself, the way you do,

All I can say for now, is

I do care for you,

I do have immense respect for you.

I do read, all your compositions you silently dedicate,

But to respond, you very well know, I hesitate.

I have read them all,

And somehow, they seem to persuade me to fall.

But, Its not about what I feel, how I feel , for you

Its the life we live,

Its the expectations from us,

that though bitter, but are the only ones , true.

Its not that in anyway I dislike you,

Its not from you, that I have some pain,

But the moments we share, right now,

we very well know, will not forever remain.

And when it would be time to part,

We would be left with a bleeding heart!!

Let not that moment arrive,

Let's not be questionable,

Let's bear the pain of the present,

Why compound it to the extent, unbearable!!

You do make me feel very special,

I wish, I could make you feel the same.

But, you know, why I can't

The circumstances amongst us are to blame!!

But yeah, from you I have a genuine complaint,

Its about the pain, the pain you carry,

Its something, that to me is sometimes scary!!

If in fate, in future, we may meet across some lane..

Let's just fulfill our duties,

Let's just meet answerable expectations,

Leave the rest as it is,

Why pave the way to undestined destinations!!

Debut in hindi poetry..

Yaadon me beete ye din ye raina,
bheegi palke, par ek jhalak kahatir pyaase ye naina..
Is baawre dil pe chalta nahi zor,
Wo hi wo dikhe chanhun or, chanhun or...

Uski har baat, uske har lafza, rooh me simat jaate hain,
Inhe hum chah kar bi nahi mita paate hain,
Ye dil to bas ek zidd kar baitha hai,
Us sangdil ke pyar ki aas lagaye baitha hai..

Ab wo door, aur ab, aur bhi door ho chala hai,
Par achanak, ye dil na jaane kyun, beete lamho ka saaz chhedh chala hai..
Gustakh dil, uske khatir, Usi ke khatir dhadke jaa raha hai..
Sab baaton se mukhatib hai, fir bi ek hi fariyaad kiye ja raha hai!!

Kyun pyaar me dard ka saath jarur milta hai..
aankhen band hone par zannat, khulne par khaak hi milta hai..
kyun tanhayiyan is mod pe raas nahi aati,
sab kuch benoor sa hai, bas uski ehsaas hai lubhati..

Is dil ki dastak ansunu reh gayi,
main yahi khada reh gaya, wo in bheegi ankhon ke samne se hi chali gayi..
Mulakat ab bhi hoti hai, par ab jariya khwaab hai..
fark iotna hai ; Ab dil me dartd aur ankhon me sailaab hai...

Masochism : pleasure in pain

I have turned masochistic..

Now i find pleasure in gulping tears,

Its habit that has grown over years,

I find the salty tears, too sweet,

Even in the chilly weather, your thoughts served as heat!!

I am haapy that i stay way from you,

As being near, I couldn't hide my pain from you!

I dont want to display myself feeble and week,

I lost intrest in all that i liked, Am i now a mere geek!!

All that i could express is through words,

Have got lot to say, thoughts swirling as wind whirls!!

I dunno what to do? I dunno!! I forgot wat was my chore!!

Hey, lastly wanna ask you..

Who taught you to make me love you more and more..

Pained but unexplained..

I am not that weak or feeble,

that any can inflict pain,

even best of best friend's rudeness is like a nibble,

But when it comes to you, i go insane!!

Your words are healing one as therauptical treatment,

At times they make me feel high, high and high,

Your silence so adverse, as if i wer undergoin punishment,

But all i can do is lay in bed and sigh..

I do hide and weep,

It seldom lets me sleep,

My face has now turned a map of you,

you happy, iot glows, you sad it turns morose..

Its mystery, since when i love you,

is it since ages!!

without your thought, life is just a mock,

as a book without pages.

People say, time changes and everything changes with time,

Is it true??

So, if it is, why can't it change my love for you!!

LubDub

You are my dream, you are my desire,
loving you & hearing from you makes me feel higher & higher..

Wen your mood is low, you do cry,
eventually, i lose my glow, making u laugh is just wat i try!

For some reason,u did forgo all ur smiles,
cant u smile 4 d one who just 2 speak 2 u once ran miles..

At tyms, I try PJs 2 make u laugh aloud,
at tyms, u cry & sob when none is around,
my heart does beat faster n leaps out,
bt at other, it just misses its lubdub sound..

One f d univrsal facts is, d grass is green, d sky is blue,
n othr bein , my heart beats just 4 u..

Tho d former has certain exceptions,
bt d othr is beyond ny limitations

falling in love with u was not by chance, nt by choice,
it was frm my heart, frm my inner voice..

Again i ponder, wer was i at fault,
and still, thinking f u is my charactr by default..